Thanks to Mike P., Jay B., John O., and everyone else who shared a comment on last week's tip called, "Don't You Love it When..." (the little things golf resorts do right).
Today, I thought we'd have some fun and rant a little about the opposite: what really grinds our gears (hint at right).
Here are some of my biggest pet peeves (and I'd love to hear yours in the comments section below).
Don't You Hate it When...
...you show up and are surprised to find aerated greens? Really? Did you think we wouldn't notice the hundreds of holes? C'mon guys, it's almost 2015 -- put a 'course conditions' section on your website and mention any maintenance when people call. I also think a reduced experience should be balanced by a reduced fee.
Here's the full video of that toddler going absolutely BALLISTIC (at :25) for missing a 'gimme' on an aerated green...
...the pace of play policy is all talk, no action? Cool, you've pace rated your course. You have reminders printed on your scorecards. You have the requisite "big clock" near the 1st and 10th tees. You have a swarm of rangers. Now ask them to actually do their jobs and earn their free golf.
...a special package or "deal" is really just a marketing gimmick? Dear golf resorts: want us to get excited about your golf package? Offer something meaningfully more exciting, convenient, less expensive, and/or value-laden than purchasing à la carte. Come up with something you'd be proud to tell your friends about...then tell us.
... you're forced to endure a pre-round lecture? I once had a starter launch into a (no exaggeration) eight-minute soliloquy about every little detail of the golf course, 90% of which was obvious ("The first hole has fairway bunkers on both sides. You'll want to stay out of those..."). Yes, starters are important, but their most important job is to...get you STARTED.
...you get nickel-and-dimed to death? Is there anything more bewildering than a course that charges a $200 green fee and tacks on an extra five or eight bucks if you want to hit a (tiny) bag of range balls? And another $10 for a yardage book? And another $10 for (mandatory) valet parking?
...practice is a pain? Maintaining a spiffy grass practice tee can be challenging at certain times of the year, but it's nonetheless a bummer to pay top-dollar to play golf, only to be subjected to thin, chewed-up, harsh mats at the range and rocky-feeling, limited-flight golf balls.
...you have to complain just to get an "adequate" room? Even within the same room category there are usually some "dogs." But if it's so easy to switch me to an "adequate" room when I complain, why not skip this charade, give me the decent room from the outset, and leave the crummy ones vacant?
These are just a few annoyances that make you wonder if golf course/resort management has any clue about what it's like to be a customer.
What do you think? How would you finish this sentence:
Don't you hate it when...
Please share your thoughts or read what others are saying below.
I don't like it when you pay $150-200 to play golf then the course has these hit the green gimmicks on every par three trying to make extra $ and holding up the entire golf course because of slow play. There's always an attractive young lady there explaining the rules and then there's always a guy in each group that thinks he's going to get lucky which takes more time talking to her. Just let me play golf I don't want to win some $30 wedge.
You prepay for a round and get out there and a tournament of guys 120 years old with 5somes and the marshalls are 125 that haven't been on a green in 2 in 110 years. Nothing screws a round up more than standing on the tee for 20 min. to hit.
I hate it when I get paired with some of the wieners that complain about every little aspect of a golf course that can't be controlled by the course managment, too long of ruff, too dry, too wet or the big one - too windy every time I play this course(hah). If the ruff is too long stay out of it(take a lesson) play from the correct tees. too dry? don't play in the summertime! Some times you just have to play in the elements!!!
Thanks for listening to my rant,I can't wait to get back out there, 6 inches of snow has to melt before I can though. Keep it straight!!!
Biggest peeve for me is the lack of clear signage on the course. Obviously there will be players at a particular course for the first time . . where do I go next?
All they need is a $2 sign on a post that shows where to go for the next tee. OK, so $2 multiplied by 18 is, let's see, 36 bucks! Come on folks. Jeez.
And yes, pace of play and there's no ranger speeding things up. How hard is it to tell folks they can't spend too much time looking for their ball in the woods, and they can't line up every putt from every different angle. It's not the U.S. Open.
Lastly, unfriendly staff. Our patronage keeps them employed, not vice versa. Players should be welcomed with a genuine smile and a helping attitude. It's too often quite the opposite.
Courses that try and use 7 min. tee times and wonder why course backs up. Go read the studies that show a mix of 9 and 10 min. times is optimum. Blind or hidden hazards off the tee with no indicator on tee or scorecard about safe and carry distances. Real piss off to hit super drive and find out ball ran through end of fairway into lake.
Stayed at Innisbrook Resort a number of years ago and there was a driving range right beside our units, but they wouldn't open it. No balls available. And my favourite, if you are in a foursome in carts, please don't drive both carts to every ball, zigging and zagging all over the fairway, all four discussing each shot. Golf Magazine had an article years ago that showed carts slow down pace of play. Totally agree. Carts are a four-wheeled cash grabbing drink carrier for most people. I'm 64 and a walker and I can't believe the 20 and 30 somethings who won't walk. Got a medical condition, by all means use a cart. Otherwise hoof it.
Marshal tries to uphold pace of play and gets no support from Pro Shop when ignored by golfers - even when other groups behind are complaining.
Signage. So I found the bag drop--now what? Where do I park? Where do I pay? Where is my cart? Where are the practice facilities? Where is the first tee?
And somewhat surprisingly, where do I return the cart?
EUROPEAN PGA MERCHANDISING level4 it's called and is situated at WENTWORTH,I bought several Ian Poulter items from these people in 2013 on the finals day of the EUROPEAN OPEN,they had a service for putting the tour logo on to any piece of merchandise bought that day,I took great care in explaining that I wanted the LOGO to go on the left arm of each item,they messed it up,and after phone calls and numerous emails and promises to replace the items,so far and this is december 2014 they have yet to replace,hows that for public relations,Up until this time I had been to many european tour events even scored at one of them,but from now on they get nothing from me.
For God sakes, if courses want faster play, why don't they do the following:
Mark the yardage on all Paths and the sprinkler all heads on the fairways, especially courses that have "Cart Path only restrictions:
Signs for directions to the next Tee when it is not obvious where the next tee is located:
Maintain Greenside Bunkers and fill it with quality sand:
Hire "Rangers" that are courteous and actually do their job.( I know of some rangers
that will watch play from the sides of fairways and then inform golfers where a ball
landed on some "blind fairways" and those that landed in the "rough". ( how nice ):
Golfers that really annoy me: Those that do not replace their "Fairway divots", those that do not rake the "Sand traps" and those that do not repair their "Ball marks", on the Greens, Also; walk a bit faster when exiting the green on the way to your Golf cart or to the next tee.